Thanksgiving Thoughts and More

Well, as usual, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Pine at the cabin with family members. Cynthia, Chris and Hannah drove up to spend Thanksgiving afternoon with us, and Melissa, Brad and the family came up Friday for a few hours. We loved spending time with loved ones, thinking about the many ways our family has been blessed and continues to be blessed. We are so thankful for our parents, our siblings, our extended family, and all of our posterity. If we were to be any more blessed, we would not have room to receive it all.

I was talking with Phil Thursday, and he was telling about the life lessons he has learned watching dogs interact with their young. He says that from the moment a baby is born, be it a dog or a human, it is either being trained by the parents or the parents are being trained by the baby. He gave some tasty scraps once to their dog who had given birth just a week before. The puppies tried to get to the mother's food. As they approached, she growled and then snipped at the puppies, biting them enough to feel it, but not enough to hurt. The puppies backed away. When they tried later, all she had to do was growl and they backed off. They learned very early to obey their mother.

My grandpa Hamblin taught me about letting a horse have its own head. He told me that a horse has to learn who is in charge. If the rider is not in charge, the rider will have no control over where the horse and rider go. Sometimes you have to speak the language the horse understands to get him to obey, because nothing is more useless than a disobedient horse.

This got me thinking about parenthood. The scriptures tell us that we are to teach our children to obey their parents, to correct them when they need correcting, to teach them to be subject to their parents (Prov 13:24, 23:13). This is a commandment. I have often wondered why children have to learn to obey. Why not just let a child determine what happens in the home? The little one doesn't want to go to bed, so he doesn't have to until he feels like it. He doesn't want to eat what Mom has fixed, so she fixes something he likes. He wants a story, then another, then another, when the parents need to get other things done. There is one basic thing wrong with raising a child this way.

That thing is the godly quality of obedience. How will a child raised that way ever learn to submit his will to God, when he has never had to submit his will to anyone before? This is the way to raise a bunch of "natural men;" enemies to God. Children who always get their way as children not only grow up spoiled, but it will be much harder for them to grasp the concept of obeying God's commandments later, because they have grown up thinking that their way is the right way. Does that make sense?

Deuteronomy 8:2 says, "And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldst keep his commandments, or no." In other words, the people were being tested, and it took 40 years for the Israelites, as a group, to show the Lord that they would be obedient. There must have been a lot of people used to having their own way in that group.

Mosiah 3:17 says that unless we become as little children, submissive, humble, meek, patient, and willing to submit to all things even as a child submits to his father, we cannot be sanctified. It sounds to me like parents must set the rules and enforce the rules, or else how can a child learn to submit to his father, and later to his Heavenly Father?

Too many times, I see young families who just let their children do whatever they want, with no reprimands or consequences, in the name of gentleness. Again, I am not suggesting that parents need to be mean or harsh, but they need to teach their children that the parents make the rules and the children obey. I believe that this is truly in the best interest of the children. Parents must be gentle but firm. It is time to go. It is time for bed. This is what we are eating tonight. No, you may not do that. This is not meanness; it is kindness. It is helping them turn into the kind of people Heavenly Father wants and needs.

Just as we sometimes have to say, "Lord, I don't know why I have to go through this trial, but I know you do, and I trust you," our children need to learn that theirs is not the will that governs the universe.

So much for the ramblings of an ancient parent. Think about it.